Gaustad: "Det er ikke lov aa sykle her!"

Å fy f*bip* som jeg ler og ler! Det blir bare bedre og bedre! Keep going!

I couldn't wait to get home and check out this workout on my Polar Precision Performance 4. I bet she reached my threshold. And then some.

I couldn't wait to get home and check out this workout on my Polar Precision Performance 4. I bet she reached my threshold. And then some.

Then, breaking through the post-coital confusion, I realized that I had put arch linux on my laptop, but had yet to find a way to let my crappy POLAR software work with this outrageously overpriced piece of junk on my wrist. While standing there exhausted, dwelling upon this seemingly unsurmountable problem....

...roam the cold, dark streets of Frogner, searching for more of that forbidden Yummy Grandmummy love. This time I would be prepared. I put a dozen latex tubes, my largest frame pump, a big can of silicone oil, and half a bottle of sherry in my backpack, and hit the streets on my DH rig. I was gonna need all the travel money could buy. If only I knew what the night would bring...

German tourists showed up, they was first a little embarrassed then a bit shocked. But after a few seconds they introduced themself as Helmut unt Helga. He said: I could exzpect too zee thiz in Garmisch-Partenkircen but nicht in ze partentelich unt lederheilage (skinnhellig på Tysk kanskje?!?! Fritt oversatt) Norweegen! I didnt..

expect that the Germans tourist was around here in the SMUUD-land?!
Helga looked shamefully down at my fine Chris King front hub as the sun showed of it's gloriousness. Very few hub can do that.
She blushed when she discovered that I looked warmly in her eyes and told her: "Just do it."
She bended down as a lightening, shoved of the tight Quick Release, and released this fine wheel and softly whispered to the wheel: "Ja, Ja, du bist Scwartz und leicht!", and held it in her arms as a baby. I gulped, while Helmut looked slightly distracted. Then...

Then, out of nowhere, a man appeared. An old man - it must have been the grandmilf's husband. He was wearing cut-off jeans shorts, a way-too-tight sleeveless jersey and a black leather cap.His man-boobs made large bulges in the jersey.

"Mind if I join the fun?", he said. Looking at me with a devilish grin, he continued: "Hey boy, let's take a ride on the good ol' tandem. You take the front and I'll be the stoker!"

I pulled out the trick that no German Tourists could resist. I pointed out the window and yelled: "Look out! Bratwurst!!"

"Würst, hfveer?!" they cried...Helga began to drool instantly and quite aggressively. This was my chance to...

...get some quality time alone with Helga. Sure, she was intimidating, but if only I could get Helmut out of the way, I could get to explore her voluptuos body like an epic bike ride, getting to know her Twin Peaks and maybe even get to visit the Grand Canyon. I told Helmut, "why don't you go get us a couple of kilos of wurst while Helga and I watch the van." The prospect of instant Bratwurst had left them both void of critical thinking, and they fell for my plot. Helmut, now dressed in his favourite Leder bibshorts, ran out, leaving me and Helga alone for some quality time. I locked the door from the inside. I turned towards Helga, her chest was heaving up and down uncontrolled, like an RST fork with no rebound control. "Yooo sveet piece of man-candy", she said, "get ready for sabmission!"
I was ready to get used and abused, like a dirt bike ridden by an obese kid with adhd. She pulled out a chain of Wiener sausages from the fridge and used them to tie me down to the dinner table in the van. Quicly, she slipped into an Oktoberfest-style naughty Bier-mädchen outfit. Gently teasing me with a chain cleaning brush, she said: "It's dinner time für Helga! Make me yodel vit your luv!!"