Chuck !

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.

Chuck Norris recently overtook heart disease as the leading cause of death in the US.

Chuck Norris doesn't declare war. He declares victory.

Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.

There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he decided to turn the sun up.

When water gets on Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris does not get wet: the water gets Chuck Norrised.

Chuck Norris uses a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.

Hehehe.

Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.

Chuck Norris once played Russian roulette with a fully load gun and won.

Chuck Norris uses Tabasco Sauce for eye drops.

Chuck Norris can get Blackjack with just one card.

;D

Kanskje vi kunne ansatt Chuck til å fikse noen rammer:

While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost

Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.

Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting.... CHUCK NORRIS GOES KILLING

The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain.

Jeg skar opp chilli til lunchen her om dagen, og når jeg skulle på kvelden til spinningen så tok jeg på meg linsene. selv om jeg hadde vasket hendene flere ganger etter chilli-kuttingen så må jeg innrømme jeg har funnet den mest grusomme torturmetoden jeg kan tenke meg. det var ikke svie, det var en ekstrem smerte.

Så jeg tror jeg forstår den vitsen.

Lars Monsen facts: Det amerikanske forsvaret brukte Lars Monsen som fasit da de utviklet GPS.

som lest av mannen selv: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l8k3uGzgZIs

En gang, da Lars Monsen og Chuck Norris møttes i skogen, ropte Lars Monsen så høyt at Chuck Norris fikk rødt hår og fregner

Herr Norris' toalettpapir

Mulig denne allerede er vist her, men Chuck Norris har allerede avgjort neste presidenvalg i USA:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MDUQW8LUMs8

Nei, skulle du ha sett. Samme toalettpapir som ntnu sverger til, og som fører til mang en sår studentrompe i eksamensperioden.

Trur alle universitet får toalettpapir/avispapir frå samme mølla.

T