What the fuck is WTF?

www.bash.org



#258908 +(8574)- [X]

<Ben174> : If they only realized 90% of the overtime they pay me is only cause i like staying here playing with Kazaa when the bandwidth picks up after hours.
<ChrisLMB> : If any of my employees did that they'd be fired instantly.
<Ben174> : Where u work?
<ChrisLMB> : I'm the CTO at LowerMyBills.com
*** Ben174 (BenWright@TeraPro33-41.LowerMyBills.com) Quit (Leaving)

#405221 +(8146)- [X]

<T-Wolf> man, my girlfriend left me for some faggot named robert
<RdAwG20> you don't live in Hope mills do you?
<T-Wolf> ya, why man?
<RdAwG20> lol, just wondering, was her namne alisson?
<T-Wolf> you mother fucker

#104052 +(8020)- [X]

<NES> lol
<NES> I download something from Napster
<NES> And the same guy I downloaded it from starts downloading it from me when I'm done
<NES> I message him and say "What are you doing? I just got that from you"
<NES> "getting my song back fucker"

#9322 +(7924)- [X]

<tag> Ouroboros: lets play Pong
<Ouroboros> Ok.
<tag> | .
<Ouroboros> . |
<tag> | .
<Ouroboros> . |
<tag> | .
<Ouroboros> | .
<Ouroboros> Whoops





Utrolig mye moro der.

Utrolig mye bra! Denne skal jeg kose meg med i kveld.

Oi, her var det mye bra!

Denne er flott:

#330261 +(7721)- [X]
<i8b4uUnderground> d-_-b
<BonyNoMore> how u make that inverted b?
<BonyNoMore> wait
<BonyNoMore> never mind

#24262 +(4236)- [X]

<booradley> I'd like to perform a one act play I call, "Creative screwed me like a bitch"
<booradley> <audigy> Buy me! I'm ever so sexy
<booradley> <boo> ok. come home with me and we'll play among the stars
<booradley> <audigy> tee hee! I love you, boo!
<booradley> <boo> I love you too, audigy
<booradley> :: later ::
<booradley> <boo> there, you're all installed. how do you feel?
<neshura> down in front!
<booradley> <audigy> LET JESUS FUCK YOU! VRAAAGH!
* audience gasps.
<booradley> * audigy is putting noise across your PCI channels
<booradley> <hard drive> Mein leben!
<booradley> * hard drive has died
<booradley> <audigy> Blaaah! blaaaugh! your mother sucks cocks in hell! graaagh!
<booradley> <modem> aaieee
<booradley> *modem has died
<booradley> and the new modem I got connects at 32k tops
<Shendal> By far, that's the best one-act IRC play I've read this season. Do I smell a Tony award?

#205557 +(3502)- [X]

<Dark_Fox> Kami: if you changed your name to Kame, you would have a much more interesting name <img src="/forum/arena/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
<Kami> Dark_Fox: And if you changed yours to Dark_Fax, you'd have a more communicative name. <img src="/forum/arena/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
* Dark_Fox is now known as Dark_Fax
<Kami> It'd be... 'telecommunicative.'
* Dark_Fax makes noises and bitches because he's out of paper ant toner *
<Kami> Oh god, that happened at work today.
<Dark_Fax> FEED MEE!!!
<SailorV> Nuuuuuuuu
* Dark_Fax displays wrong time *
* Dark_Fax rings for no reason *
* Kami is now known as VCR-clock
* Dark_Fax gets a paper jam *
* VCR-clock blinks
* VCR-clock blinks
* VCR-clock blinks
* VCR-clock blinks
* VCR-clock blinks
* VCR-clock blinks
<Dark_Fax> PAPPPERRRRR
* VCR-clock blinks
<Dark_Fax> TOOOOOONEEERRRR
* VCR-clock blinks
<VCR-clock> <img src="/forum/arena/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
* Dark_Fax breaks a bearing and bounces around on the counter *
<Dark_Fax> FEEEED ERROORRR!!!! NEED PAPER!!
* Dark_Fax rings again for no reason *
* VCR-clock blinks some more
* SailorV runs and hides becuz there are weirdo's in here
* Dark_Fax chases SailorV * MY PAPER!!! MY PREEESCIOUUUS!!
* VCR-clock blinks
* VCR-clock blinks
<SailorV> EEEE!
* SailorV unplugs the VCR
* VCR-clock has quit IRC
* Dark_Fax is now known as Dark_Fox
<Dark_Fox> ok i think ive peaked the humor of that

takk Chalshus!


<img src="/forum/arena/images/graemlins/veryhappy.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/forum/arena/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/forum/arena/images/graemlins/bigsmile.gif" alt="" />

Dan, hva med denne?

<green> We vegetarians love the environment. carnivores are sick freaks.
<Frank> How can vegetarians possibly love the environment.. you keep eating all the fucking plants

#4753 +(10172)- [X]

<xterm> The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?

<img src="/forum/arena/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif" alt="" />

Takker chalshus

Gammel moro, men stor moro. Jeg blir aldri lei av å lese dette.

å fy, jeg knekker sammen.

Rabidplaybunny87: Okay, so my neighbors officially hate me
GarbageStan23: why?
Rabidplaybunny87: Well, me, david and andrew were having a bonfire in the backyard, and we were making s'mores and all... and suddenly we here sirens, and see a firetruck turn into the street in front of us.
Rabidplaybunny87: So we all went running to see what was up, and our neigbor's house was on fire!
GarbageStan23: oh shit!
Rabidplaybunny87: Yeah, and when we got there, the wife was crying into her husbands arms, and we were just kinda standing there, and then she saw us, and then like for 10 seconds, gave us the dirtiest look ever
Rabidplaybunny87: Turns out, we were still holding our sticks with marshmallows on it, watching the fire....
Rabidplaybunny87: talk about bad timing...

Det er endel nytt der også. Blant annet en om Arne Næss Jr. (RIP)


Hva med denne:

<pihlopase> Jesus Saves
<jbroome> pases to moses, SCOOOOORE

<Graeme> yeah, don't be nasty. my grandad died in a concentration camp......!
<Graeme> he fell out a guard tower. broke his neck


Litt stygg den siste der....

her er det noen:

<Fireslide> next person to talk after his line will be kicked : )
<Fireslide> *this
* Fireslide was kicked by Fireslide (12‹61912›)

<Phatt_One> crap is disgusting
<syntax> hey dont bad mouth crap
<syntax> im a plumber
<syntax> if it werent for crap, i wouldnt be able to feed my family

<Guest1087> shut up asshole
<Pikanyah> If I'm an asshole, you're an asswipe. You're so low, you serve me.
<Guest1087> shup up bitch, i'm the asshole
<Guest1087> wait a sec....

hahahahaha <img src="/forum/arena/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif" alt="" />

Skal vise... Jeg har vært vegetarianer i 23 år. Det betyr at jeg har hørt akkurat den morsomheten... ca 100 ganger. <img src="/forum/arena/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Nerds of the world unite!
Detta tar virkelig nerdekaka.........

Jammen. Atte.


Det er jo utrolig mye moro der.

<zexis> hmmm you think this statistic is real?
<zexis> every 2 minutes a woman is raped in Ohio
<hal> why doesn't she just move?
<zexis> ?

mdiym42: note to self
mdiym42: make sure your cat is not sleeping in the bass drum before you start playing them


Eller er jeg bare en latterlig nerd? <img src="/forum/arena/images/graemlins/jeanclaude.gif" alt="" />

Hvorfor i all verfden er du vegeterianer? Lurer fælt på hvodan folk kan klare å holde seg unna Seven Elevens rollerburgere!

Menneskeheten er vel stort sett delt i to ved det spørsmålet.

Jeg tilhører den delen av befolkningen som lurer på hvordan noen i det hele tatt kan finne på å trykke i seg en slik tørr klibæsj som nattmat...

LJ

Rolleburger er sånn mat skal se ut når den er ferdig fordøyd.

<green> We vegetarians love the environment. carnivores are sick freaks.
<Frank> How can vegetarians possibly love the environment.. you keep eating all the fucking plants

101... Fnis!

Hehe, en gammel klassiker. Enda mer virkningsfull i den rette settinga (helt sant, ass!):

En trøndersk kompis av meg studerte tysk i Heidelberg rundt 1990 og ble også kjent med tyske studenter. Man satt en kveld i en lokal pøbb og etter en stund startet naturligvis historie- og vitsefortellingen. Kompisen (som behersker tysk utmerket) begynte også selv å fortelle vitser (som seg hør og bør for en ekte trønder). Siden han ble revet med av egen suksess og aldri har vært noe stor tilhenger av sunn dømmekraft, smalt han like godt til med en snerten jødevits avslutningsvis.

Det var nok den etterfølgende tausheten rundt bordet som fikk kompisen til å innse hvilken pinlig tabbe han hadde utsatt seg selv for og jeg antar at man kunne ha plukket han ut av selskapet ut fra fargen på hodet alene.

Så bøyer seg én av de tyske studentene fremover og sier langsomt "Min bestefar døde i Ausschwitz!". Senest nå var vel alt tilrettelagt for å kunne steke sizzling fajitas opp på det trønderske topplokket.

Pressure relief'en kom heldigvis i form av at studenten bøyer seg en gang til forover og nettopp sier "Jepp, ramla fra vakttårnet i fylla" og hele bordet bryter ut i brølende latter - unntatt min nå heller bleke kompis som etter eget utsagn følte seg en smule utmattet og slapp resten av kvelden.

Forøvrig et godt eksempel på at tysk humor faktisk finnes <img src="/forum/arena/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Martin

En annen fin tysker-nordmannsituasjon:

tysker: Everytime I talk to you norwegians you try to talk with your no-good german to me. I can`t understand a thing!
full nordmann i bakgrunnen: Well if your grandfather had done his job propperly, we`d all be talking fluent german by now...

Fin stemning etter den også gitt..

Er det noen forresten som kan ta på seg ansvaret å lære tyskere at funny og fun ikke betyr det samme. I samme slengen kan man slenge inn at på engelsk så heter det to ride a bike og to drive a car. you do not drive a bicycle!

Og fortell dem i samme slengen at mobiltelefon ikke heter Handy. Herregud!

Noen som vet hva walkie talkie heter på fransk?


Ole.

Du har tydeligvis ikke syklet mye sammen med pinwiz.

Hehe, er det ikke rett og slett talkie-walkie?

Den norske "aircondition" er vel ikke så mye bedre, er den vel?

Geir (som snakker engelsk med tyskere fra tidlig morgen til sen kveld for tiden)

Jepp. Morsomt.


Ole.

Ikke så rart når NATO heter OTAN i samme slengen.

Jeg har av helt åpenbare årsaker syklet max 500m sammen med Øyvind.
Men jeg har fått noen veldig gode glimt av bakhjulet hans.

Computer Stupidities

Timesvis med høydepunkter fra alle typer dataproblemer <img src="/forum/arena/images/graemlins/mongo.gif" alt="" />

An man purchased a laptop from me. He called about a week later and said that it would no longer boot up. He brought it in, and I discovered that sixteen nicely drilled holes were in the bottom of the case. I asked him about it, and he said the machine was too hot sitting on his lap, so he had drilled these "air holes."

"Could that be the problem?" he asked.