Siden forumet flyter over av mannfolk syns jeg det er på sin plass å la dere få innblikk i dette. Samtidig etterlyser jeg en guide som går motsatt vei.
HAZARDOUS MATERIALS INFORMATION SYSTEM MATERIAL SAFETY DATA SHEET
WOMEN: A Chemical Analysis
ELEMENT: Woman SYMBOL: Wo DISCOVERER: Adam ATOMIC MASS: Accepted as 118 lbs., but known to vary from 110 to 550 lbs. OCCURRENCE: Copious quantities throughout the world
PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:
1. Surface usually covered with a painted film. 2. Boils at nothing, freezes without reason. 3. Melts if given special treatment. 4. Bitter if incorrectly used. 5. Found in various states ranging from virgin metal to common ore. 6. Yields to pressure applied to correct points.
CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:
1. Has a great affinity for gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. 2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances. 3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning, and for no known reason. 4. Insoluble in liquids, but activity greatly increased by saturation in alcohol. 5. Most powerful money-reducing agent known to man.
COMMON USES:
1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars. 2. Can be a great aid to relaxation. 3. Very effective cleaning agent.
TESTS:
1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in natural state. 2. Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.
HAZARDS:
1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands. 2. Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be maintained at different locations as long as specimens do not come into direct contact with each other.
HAZARDOUS MATERIALS INFORMATION SHEET MATERIALS SAFETY DATA SHEET
MEN - A CHEMICAL ANALYSIS
ELEMENT: MAN SYMBOL: Ego DISCOVERER: Eve. Discovered by accident one day when she had a craving for ribs. ATOMIC MASS: Accepted as 170 lbs, known to vary from 98 to 360 lbs. OCCURRENCE: Large quantities in all populated areas. Highly concentrated deposits at all sporting events and areas known as "singles bars". Extremely low quantities can be found in any location where cleaning up is required. (See Women and Slave Labor)
PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:
1. Surface often covered with hair--bristly in some areas, soft in others. 2. Boils when inconvenienced, freezes when faced with Logic and Common Sense. 3. Melts if treated like a God. 4. Can cause headaches and severe body aches; handle with extreme caution. 5. Specimens can be found in various states ranging from deeply sensitive to extremely thick. 6. Becomes stubborn and unyielding when pressure is applied; yields only when subtlety, subterfuge, flattery are applied.
CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:
1. Is repelled by concentrated quantities of precious and semi-precious metals and stones (See Jewelery Store). However, is attracted to small quantities of these when viewed worn against the skin of a woman. It is believed woman's skin combines with the aforementioned to create a highly magnetic attraction for this element. 2. May explode spontaneously if wallet is opened. 3. Requires copious quantities of substances known as attention, reassurance, and stroking. 4. When saturated with Alcohol will be fairly inert and will repel most other elements. 5. Is repelled by most household appliances and common household cleansers. 6. Is repelled by small children clothed in diapers, particularly those of the malodorous variety. 7. Is rendered non-functional when confronted with the items in #5 & #6. 8. Is neutral to common courtesy and fairness. 9. Is impervious to embarrassment. 10. Most powerful embittering and aggravating agent known to woman.
Jeg ligger mye på gult og helt opp til mørekegrønt, ja og lykkelig gift på 20. året.
Det blir vanskelig å lage en som går andre veien siden kvinner gjerne pakker det de egentlig vil si inn i hint der vi menn forventes å forstå meningen. Og dette driver de med til tross for at de gjennom generasjoner burde ha lært at det ikke funker.
Jeg er ikke enig i alle disse, men det kan være noe å tenke på. Den ene uthevningen er min: Rules That Guys Wish Women Knew If you think you are fat, you probably are. Do not ask us. We refuse to answer.
Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, Put it down. When you're done with the toilet seat, put it back up.
Do not cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then, you are stuck with her.
Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!
If you ask a question you don't want an answer to; expect an answer you do not want to hear.
Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
Do not ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation and monster trucks.
Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
Shopping is not a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way.
When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
You have enough clothes.
You have too many shoes.
Crying is blackmail.
Your ex-boyfriend is an idiot.
Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. Just say it!
No, we do not know what day it is. We never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.
Yes, peeing standing up is more difficult. We are bound to miss sometimes.
Most guys own three pairs of shoes-what makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That is what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
Foreign films are best left to foreigners.
Check your oil!
Do not fake it. We would rather be ineffective than deceived.
It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz together.
No, it does not matter which quiz.
Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days.
If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.
Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.
You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done-not both.
Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
Women wearing Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at. If you dress like an easy woman, you should expect to be treated like one.
More women should wear Wonderbras and low-cut blouses. We like staring at boobs.
The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out.
ALL men see in only 16 colors, like old windows default settings. Peach is a fruit, not a color.
Pumpkin is also a fruit.
If it itches, it will be scratched. Also, if we have to pass gas or burp, we will.
Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
If it is OUR house, I do not understand why MY stuff gets thrown in the closet/attic/basement.
We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
If we hear from an old girlfriend, we will briefly fantasize about making out with her. But do not worry; the fantasy includes you AND her, together.
What the hell is a doily?
"The more false we destroy, the more room there will be for the true." - Robert Green Ingersoll
Det blir vanskelig å lage en som går andre veien siden kvinner gjerne pakker det de egentlig vil si inn i hint der vi menn forventes å forstå meningen. Og dette driver de med til tross for at de gjennom generasjoner burde ha lært at det ikke funker.
Sitat: GeirK
Folk oppfatter det slik fordi de stadig faller for fristelsen til å generalisere.
Ikke dum denne Sitter og ler for meg selv mens jeg leser. Jentungen på 11: "Så er det på'an igjen....." (sukk, for en dum mamma jeg har som sitter og ler av ting ho leser på data'n....) Kanskje det er en tenåringsguide jeg trenger
Redigert av hårfin; 13/01/201116:38. Rediger grunn: liker smileyer :D
For en tid siden frigjorde forskere fra National University of The Flying Lure resultatene av en analyse som viste at øl inneholder kvinnelige hormoner. Menn burde se med engstelse på inntaket sitt av øl.
Teorien er at øl inneholder kvinnelige hormoner (humle inneholder
phytoestrogen) og dersom menn
drikker nok øl, blir de til kvinner.
For å teste teorien drakk 100 menn 8 halvlitere med øl hver i løpet av 1 time. Resultatet var at 100 % av deltakerne:
1) Kranglet om ingenting.
2) Nektet å be om unnskyldning selv om de uten tvil tok feil.
3) La på seg flere kilo.
4) Pratet uforståelig i ett sett.
5) Ble veldig emosjonelle.
6) Kunne ikke kjøre bil.
7) Klarte ikke å tenke rasjonelt.
8) Måtte sitte ned for å tisse.
Det ble bestemt at videre testing ikke var nødvendig.
Siden forumet flyter over av mannfolk syns jeg det er på sin plass å la dere få innblikk i dette. Samtidig etterlyser jeg en guide som går motsatt vei.
Sitter og ler for meg selv mens jeg leser. Jentungen på 11: "Så er det på'an igjen....." (sukk, for en dum mamma jeg har som sitter og ler av ting ho leser på data'n....) Kanskje det er en tenåringsguide jeg trenger 
